Child PrussiaXReader
by GreatAuthor96
Summary: Arthur Kirkland's spell goes awry, causing all the nations to become children. Living with your now 9-year-old boyfriend Gilbert is a bit tough, especially when some good/bad memories come up. Is life going to be stressful, or full of perverted humor?
1. Chapter 1

I screamed.

Loudly.

Falling out of bed, taking some blankets with me, I stood right back up. Lying on my bed was not my boyfriend, Gilbert, but a child. A CHILD. His short white hair was a giant mess and his red eyes appeared tired although my scream should've made him wide awake. The boy was dressed in my boyfriend's boxers that said "I am Awesome" in bold print all over it. My hands gripped the blankets as I wished that he wouldn't be stupid and get up because those boxers would slide right down his thin legs. Fritz! What if he did? Immediately I became worried as we remained in awkward silence for what seemed like years. Maybe he'll grow during this time and fit those boxers…

"Frau, I know it's French Toast Saturday but we don't need to squeal about it." Pouting, the boy pulled up the thin bed sheet and tried going back to sleep. "Just give me a few awesome minutes before I squeal too…"

"YOU PERVERTED CHILD! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH GILBERT?"

He sighed, "Someone's gotten high off zhe awesome excitement of breakfast~"

"ANSWER ME!"

"I fed him to Gilbird."

"LIAR!"

"Alright, alright! I'll get up now, jeez. You must be hungry, frau. I don't usually make breakfast zhis early but you're mein awesome girlfriend un you shall get your food."

My skin paled.

He was going to get up!

"NO! NO! NO-"

"VHAT DO YOU VANT FROM MEIN AWESOMENESS, FRAU?"

I quickly averted my eyes from the boy standing on the opposite side of the bed. The boxers on the floor. So I reviewed this morning. Wake up. Find a pervert child lying where Gilbert should be. Argue. The boy is nude. Hm…Sounds legit! This must be a dream for I'm pretty sure my boyfriend doesn't get up at eight in the morning and leave children behind to keep me company.

(Gilbert's POV)

Why am I so short? Why are my boxers on the floor? Did I suddenly become an un-awesome midget of un-awesomeness? Am I hallucinating? Well I did have the most invigoratingly awesome sex with _ last night~ She sure knows how to make reality disappear…But why would my girlfriend look away from my naked awesomeness? Doesn't she recognize my awesome five meters? I suppose she just wants her French toast and making a fuss about it by being so rude.

With a sigh, I pulled my boxers back up. Yet they were too big. Nein, I was too small. W-what is going on here? WHY AM I NOT MY AWESOME AGE? A mirror that hung on the door showed a reflection of an albino boy. Me. Holding up awesome boxers because he can't fit them.

"_? Did you tell Arthur to cast a spell on mein awesome form last night?"

"No! Wait…How do you know my name? And Arthur?"

I rolled my eyes, "I'm your boyfriend. Zhe one who apparently shrunk over night," I muttered.

_ looked at me disapprovingly before grabbing her cell phone. She quickly dialed a number and called it.

We waited.

"E-ello?"

"Who is this?" My awesome girlfriend demanded.

"Arthur-" Responded a child.

"OH! SO YOU'RE A CHILD TOO?"

There was a weak laugh, "Welllll…I sorta…Messed up a spell."

"ARTHUR KIRKLAND, TELL ME HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE BEEN AFFECTED THIS INSTANT!"

"…Every person who embodies a nation…"

"WELL FIX IT!"

And with that, _ ended the call.

(Your POV)

Gilbert sat at the kitchen counter staring down at his food with his poker face. I know I'm not the best cook, being taught by Arthur, but I have some decency! Being the nice person that I am, I buttered his French toast, poured syrup on it, and cut it into tiny squares! He could show some appreciation…Especially since I cooked bacon for him. Well I enjoyed MY breakfast and ate ALL of it with EXTRA toast AND bacon. Selfish little…WHY CAN'T HE BE THANKFUL FOR MY COOKING?

Suddenly he set his fork down and looked at me with his big red eyes. "May I claim your vital regions?"

"W-what? NO!"

"…How about now?"

"I'm twenty-two years old and you're…"

"Nine."

"NINE! SEE THE ISSUE?" I face-palmed, why did he have to be so persistent? "When you're back to being my age, you may have my vital regions."

His head tilted a little bit, "But I'm horny nowwwwwwwww."

I've never heard a nine year old say such a thing-OH WAIT! YES I HAVE!

(Le Flashback) (Gilbert's POV)

Third grade would never have been more awesome without _ in my class. The awesome class of awesomeness. I would sit at my desk staring at her, daydreaming about what it'd be like to have her as my awesome girlfriend…Of awesomeness. On the awesome playground—of awesomeness—I'd watch her wrestle with her brother, Alfred, and win. During our reading session of un-awesomeness, _ would be helping her other brother, Matthew, understand words if he was having trouble. Sometimes the teacher would yell at me to focus on work but my attention always returned to _. That fräulein would be mine…

Our class was working on a book assignment. Something about science…I'd rather learn chemistry. The sexy kind of chemistry. We had to measure out certain objects too, which gave me the chance to brag about how big my five meters is to my friends, Francis and Antonio.

"Five of zhese meter sticks is how big mein awesome five meters is! Kesesesesese!"

"Then you should see the Eiffel Tower!" Francis exclaimed with a smile.

I gave him a light punch, irritated that he would make my size seem small. "What do you think, Antonio?" I asked in hopes he'd be impressed with what I said.

"Oh Lovi~You sexy beast of a tomato…" Antonio had his elbows on a desk, propping his head up with his hands. Obviously paying more attention to an Italian than his own friends. "I just want to eat you right up!"

Exchanging the meter stick with a ruler, I walked over towards _. She was too busy talking with her brothers to notice that I was almost right behind her. My eyes glanced down at her school uniform's skirt and I smirked. The skirts these days were made quite short for a man's amusement.

Slowly I lifted up the back of her skirt with the ruler to see her light blue and white plaid undies. Mein gott they're awesome! I stared for a bit longer before moving the ruler away as if nothing happened.

"Huh?" She turned around, her gaze locking with mine. "Beilschmidt."

"Hm? Ah, _, didn't see you zhere!"

"What are you up to?"

"Oh…Just being horny," about you, "as usual."

(Le Normal Time) (Your POV)

Yup. That was Gilbert being horny alright.


	2. Chapter 2

Wiggling his arms, the sleeves of his unfitting robe flopped around. Laughing, Gilbert spun around with the fabric moving about his body like the crazy idiot he is. "AWESOME DANCE OF AWESOMENESS!"

I opened the door to leave, "I'm going to shop for your manly needs, can you take care of yourself?"

"Ja, ja! I von't masturbate, look at zhe sexy magazine I made of you, or play vith your panty drawer."

"Boys…" When I turned to leave, I saw a boy standing on my doorstep. His blue eyes staring up at me. Yet I couldn't help but smile at the sight of him in high socks and shorts with suspenders. The little boy's white t-shirt wrinkle-free and cleaner than Gilbert's mind. Happily I ruffled his short blonde hair, "Well if it isn't Ludwig."

"_, I didn't come to be-"

Immediately I picked him up and hugged him tightly, "You're so cute!"

Gilbert stopped twirling around in his robe, "West? Are you trying to take mein awesome girlfriend from me?" He tugged at my pant leg, "Could you drop-kick him?"

"No!" I put Ludwig down, "That's rude."

"Zhe Awesome Me can be rude if he vants to!"

"Look, I vas on an airplane trip to visit you un mein bruder until zhat spell of Arthur's changed zhings. So now zhat I'm here-"

"Oh, Luddy, you can stay as long as you like!"

"VHAT? NEIN!" Gilbert shouted. He stomped his foot, "UN DON'T GIVE HIM A NICKNAME!"

"I-" Ludwig began.

"Do you want clothes, Gilbert? Do you want food? Shelter?"

"I can go naked~ Vouldn't you vant zhat?"

Irritated, I gave Ludwig a light shove into the house along with his baggage. "Please look after your older brother while I'm out shopping."

"You're leaving me here? VITH HIM?"

"Yup!" I closed the door behind me, "And thank goodness."

Later in the afternoon, I came home carrying many, many bags. At least half of these bags wouldn't be here if Ludwig hadn't came. Oh well. I also had school supplies for the both of them for summer was almost over and I taught third grade. It would be a big surprise for the Beilschmidt brothers once they see that! I struggled carrying these out of my (vehicle name) and managed to reach the door without dropping something.

Leaning against the door, trying to get the key to unlock the door out of my pocket, the door opened. Tumbling in, bags everywhere, I found myself lying on the floor, Gilbert clinging to my leg. Ludwig quickly entered the living room and started organizing the bags, he's so kind.

"PLAY VITH MEEEEEE!"

"W-what? No! I've got stuff to take care of first!" I tried shaking Gilbert off my leg but he clung on, "So let go!"

"Promise to play vith me later?"

"Alright…"

Happily Gilbert crawled up to my head and kissed my forehead, "Danke!" Then he began scrambling away.

I grabbed his leg, "A-a-ah! You've got clothes to try on first!"

"NEIN!"

"Oh yes you do!" Dragging him towards me, I grinned, "You're going to be my little doll today."

Ludwig slowly began backing away with his poker-face.

It took a bit of time to grab the two rascals and have them under my control. Gilbert squirmed out of my grasp so easily while Ludwig hid in my house where I would never have guessed to look. Seriously, it's just clothes! Nothing out of date! In fact, I spent quite a bit of money to get them the best of the best. They should be thankful that I'd buy them anything! And to think my boyfriend would treat me this way and his brother was willing to act just like him! How rude…

I straightened out Gilbert's new jean-jacket, "There, how's this?"

"Awesome!"

"It's veird," Ludwig looked at his new sneakers, "because it's not mein style."

"Oh? Would you like lederhosen?"

"Nein…"

With a small smile, I turned back to the egotistic albino. He was holding up a backpack full of school supplies with a distasteful look. One that would make a parent not want to send him to school. Ludwig laughed at his brother until he realized he had a backpack too. They stared at me in silence. Being a teacher, I was used to children giving me that expression when handing out homework. Whatever.

This ended up being a hunt for two German boys again. Both were as silent as a ninja and so I had to be silent too. The floor would creak with each step I took! I'm so awesome at this…Not. My eyes scanned everything as I looked around my house for a sign of my targets. Both hands twitched with anticipation to grab a little Beilschmidt by the back of his shirt and hold him hostage. Just one slip from them is all I ask!

I entered my room, "I give up! I'm going to get in the shower!"

(Gilbert's POV)

Oh Fritz! She's going to get naked! Completely! Then that bare skin is going to be steaming from hot water shooting out of a showerhead! I began to feel uncomfortable cramped in this shelf and Ludwig gave me a worried look. Shaking my head, sweat began to trickle down my forehead as awesome thoughts filled my mind. Fritz! Fritz! Fritz! My brother gripped my knee, trying to assure me that I had to hold on. That this is what _ wanted me to do. To give away our hideout. But I really wanted to go see her naked!

I jumped out of the cupboard above the washer machine to dash up the stairs. Quickly I dashed down the hall and opened _'s bedroom door to see her in a robe. Her bare legs showing from the knee on down…Stumbling towards the bed for support, my eyes stared at my awesome girlfriend as she stood in the bathroom preparing her shower. So…Awesome…

"Hey," she muttered.

"Take it off!"

"Take what off?"

"Don't tease me! Take zhe robe off!"

"Hm…No."

Storming into the bathroom, furiously I stamped my foot and looked up at her. _ towered over me by quite a bit…Yet from this angle, I could see how big her breasts were against the silk robe she wore. Gott I wanted to touch them! BOTH AT ONCE! KESESESESESE!

_ patted my head, "Sorry, little boys like you can't see the good things in life unless they go to school."

"I've been to school! Now off vith zhat robe!"

"You have to take school over again~"

"Neeeeeeeeeein! I don't wanna!"

"Well then, you can just march your butt right out of my house."

My mouth must've dropped five meters, "B-but I'm your boyfriend!"

"I can get a new one."

"You can't replace mein awesomeness! Don't you love me?" I squished my cheeks together so that my lips were smushed, "Aren't I cute?"

Giggling, she hugged me, "I do love you and yes, you are cute~"

We were in awesome embrace for a few minutes until…

"You're still going to school."

"VAY TO RUIN ZHE MOMENT!"


	3. Chapter 3

(Your POV)

Calmly I entered the guest bedroom, seeing that Ludwig had already organized his belongings. He was sitting on his bed in his pajamas reading a very complicated book about German history. I sat down beside him and his blue eyes glanced up at me before returning to his book.

"Quite a large house you have here."

I nodded.

"You have two extra bedrooms," Ludwig hesitated, "I'm pretty sure you didn't buy this house to fill guests with it."

"…What do you mean?"

"Have you talked to Gilbert?"

"A-about what? You're acting strange, Luddy," I said with a weak smile.

"I knew you haven't…"

My hands quivered as they rested upon my lap. How did Ludwig know? What other information does he have? "Heh, d-do you like your bedroom?"

"_, you know very well it shouldn't be me in here."

Tears in my eyes, I nodded, then left after wishing him good night.

(Gilbert's POV)

I lied wide awake in bed while _ was fast asleep beside me. Her knees were nearly curled up to her belly and I knew that she wasn't used to not having someone awesome right up against her. It would've been awesome if _ wasn't so freaked out about showing affection for me because of my age change…With a sigh, I listened to her soft breathing in hopes that it would help me drift off to sleep. But my girlfriend is too awesome not to stare upon all night and day! So my eyes remained painfully open far longer than I liked.

Then she suddenly reached out and pulled me right up against her chest. My back curved against her as I lied on my side, trapped in her loving grasp. A smile crept up onto my awesome face as _'s breathing quickened as her skin became warm. I didn't have to turn to know that my awesome girlfriend—of awesomeness—had rosy cheeks that would feel as hot as the place between her legs. Apparently she was having an awesomely sexy dream about me, for I am awesome, and enjoying it. But FRITZ did I want to bring her to the edge as she slept by touching those heated places…

(Your POV)

Quickly I put the two German brothers on my shoulders and dashed out the door. They both had a long-john donut stuck in their mouth that I shoved there for their breakfast. It was the first day of school, so I had to rush them into my vehicle before they decide to hide from me. Anyways, it wasn't as if I could leave the two home alone without a babysitter, especially since Alfred and Matthew were children. I had to put all this stress on my shoulders and take it like a woman! HELLZ YEAH!

With a sigh of relief of being at the school early, I sat down behind my desk and took out the class list. Gilbert Beilschmidt at the top, not surprising. Francis Bonnefoy…W-wait…WHAT? Antonio Carriedo? HOW DID THOSE TWO GET ON HERE? In fact, I recognized many names of nations I knew…

Gilbert stormed up to my desk, "How come mein desk is in zhe corner of the classroom far away from you?" He demanded.

"Because I don't need you around everybody else, or distracting me."

"Zhat's good," Ludwig muttered.

"NOT FUNNY!"

My two brothers entered the classroom, Alfred pulling Matthew's hand towards me. I smiled to see them so little compared to me since they were both taller than me before Arthur's spell. "Yo, sis! I got a bunch of friends to come to school here just for the heck of it! Isn't that cool?"

"What a great idea," I replied sarcastically. But I smiled once I lifted the two in one big hug, "Just don't think I'll be nice towards you though!"

Jealous of not receiving a hug, Gilbert sat on his desk while swinging his legs back and forth. "Yeah! Because I already have the special treatment of awesomeness! The Awesome Me is just that awesome!"

(Gilbert's POV)

Being separated from the rest of my classmates was as boring as Roderich's butt. Which is pretty boring. I spent most of my time in my corner of awesomeness looking at my girlfriend's sexy body while listening to her sexy voice. She seemed to enjoy teaching students just by the fact that her smile never seemed to leave. _ liked children, I remember her telling me that some years ago. The profession of teaching wasn't something I truly liked as a child, but until my girlfriend became a teacher, I fully supported her. If she is happy, then I am happy. Well I guess being able to focus on my own thoughts was better than being distracted…

After lunch was recess. Being forced outside wasn't what I wanted since _ was going to be staying in her classroom doing "teacher-stuff." I was walking around bored although I could've chosen to hang out with Francis and Antonio because I had business to take care of. A certain Korean from the southern part had mentioned my girlfriend's name on his way out of the lunchroom, and I wanted to hear more. Especially if it had to do with her.

Yao seemed cross, "You shouldn't talk about _ like that, aru."

"Oh come on! She's got, like, the biggest boobs ever! I WANT TO SQUISH THEM!" Im Yong Soo drooled, "So badly…"

I ran up to that damn Korean and grabbed him by the front of whatever Asian outfit he was wearing. As if I care. "Say zhat one more time un I'll make you wish you never did," I threatened.

(Your POV)

Gently I put pressure on the ice-pack against Gilbert's swollen left eye. His good eye stared down at his bruised knees, both of his hands gripping the edge of the desk he was seated upon. I let out an annoyed sigh to see him so battered up after a fist-fight with Im Yong Soo. Which is surprising, I thought Gilbert would've won with his "awesomeness." Gilbird shifted on his master's head and chirped. Sadly my little boyfriend rubbed Gilbird's head, using this moment like a distraction from losing a fight.

"Why'd you do it, Gil?"

"Your boobs have been claimed by me, zhese hands un mein mouth agree. Zhat-zhat dummkopf said it vasn't true!"

My eye twitched, "You fought over who claims my chest?"

"ZHEY ARE MEIN BOOBS TO PLAY VITH!"

"Don't say that so loud!"

"S-sorry," he placed a hand over mine, pressing the ice-pack more firmly against his eye. Then his red iris looked up at me, "But just remember zhat zhey belong to me."

"Yeah, yeah-"

"Un don't permit anyone else to have zhem!"

"I got it-"

"Un zhe rest of your body belongs to me too~"


	4. Chapter 4

I stared down at my dinner, unwilling to touch it. There wasn't a single potato on my plate. Never have I eaten dinner without potatoes! EVER! And yet _ has the audacity to serve me something known as a cheeseburger! DO I LOOK LIKE HER BROTHER, ALFRED? I DON'T THINK SO! What was even worse, there wasn't beer in my glass. It was water. Bland liquid. Ludwig didn't seem to be affected by this dinner but damn it! I WANTED POTATOES AND BEER!

_ rubbed my back, "Is something wrong?"

"Vhat happened to zhe potatoes?"

"I…Well…Forgot to buy more…"

"Un zhe beer?"

"You know you can't drink that at the age of nine!"

"But I vant it!" I gestured to the piece of crap before me, "Zhis isn't culture!"

"Vhat do you know about culture?" Ludwig muttered.

"Zhat people like sex~"

For some reason, I woke up in the middle of the night alone. _ wasn't cuddling me! I WANT TO BE CUDDLED! Immediately I flipped the blankets off of me and went to search for my awesome girlfriend so that I could inform her about the rules of cuddling. It doesn't stop until I say so. That's it. She knows I get cold without her comforting arms wound around me, although it should be the other way around but I'm too damn small. Fritz…Where is she?

Then I heard crying as I passed one of the empty bedrooms. Hesitantly I opened the door to see my awesome girlfriend sitting in the corner of the white room with tears streaming down her cheeks. My heart nearly tore into pieces to see her in such a state, I don't even remember if I've ever seen her cry before! Running over to _, softly my hands lifted her face so that she was facing me. Her eyes remained shut as her sobbing continued though and yet I wiped her tears away with my thumbs. Why was Her Awesomeness so upset? Did Ludwig eat her yogurt? Damn it! NOT THE YOGURT!

"_? _, stop crying…"

She shook her head.

I bit my lip before speaking again, "Vas it the yogurt? I can replace it if you vish!"

"N-no," _ managed a tiny smile, "I'm just crying tears of joy."

"Don't lie to me, frau! You're upset, un I know yogurt has to do with it." I stared at her, waiting for a response, but she continued to cry. I kissed her forehead, "I'll be back! Just vait here…"

We sat in the middle of the room where moonlight poured in from a window with no shades. I played my violin for her, the same song I played when I was serenading to her years ago. _ had calmed down during this time of music and shuddered after weeping for so long but was glad of my comfort. I knew it. She also ate yogurt that I brought to her, surprisingly Ludwig didn't eat it. So our time together was in perfect peace as the night dragged on and my violin continued to give off sweet notes.

(Le Flashback)

I looked up at the second-story window at the beautifully awesome _ who was standing behind it. She was dressed in a Guns N' Roses t-shirt and pajama shorts, just the kind of girl I liked. Grinning, I pointed my violin bow up at her, "You, mein frau, are going to be mein awesome girlfriend!"

"I've been telling you no since third grade!"

"Vell now it's tenth!"

_ laughed, "Doesn't change anything."

"Oh? But zhis will!"

And I began playing mein awesome violin for her. A gentle wind rolled by as I did so, making my body cool down as nervousness wracked my body. What if I messed up? What if she doesn't like it? Did _ even like violins? I bit my tongue and closed my eyes as I played a memorized song, something awesome that I made up on my own.

Once the song was done though, I saw that _ was still at her window, eating a yogurt. She seemed content with herself to have a snack while music was playing. "Did you like it?"

"Hm…" She held up a rose and flung it out the window, "Maybe."

I caught the gentle flower, "Is zhis a symbol of our love?" I asked hopefully.

"No."

"VHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?"

"Gilbert Beilschmidt, do you honestly think I just threw the rose out the window because I didn't want it?"

"…Ja…"

"It's for you."

"As a symbol of our love?" I repeated.

"Depends, do you love me, Gil?"

"JA!"

Packing my violin and its' bow away, I set the rose on the case before dashing towards the house. Carefully I climbed up the wall with the use of those weird fence-looking things that vine-plant-thingies grow on. After reaching the top, _ helped me climb through her window so that we stood facing each other.

She reddened when I took her hand and kissed it. But her cheeks became even more flushed once my lips met hers. I wrapped my arms around _'s waist, holding her body against mine as I kissed her as gently as I could. Her arms wrapped around my neck as she tried to lower my head down so that she didn't have to stand on tip-toe any longer. A groan escaped me when the awesome frau before me began to kiss back with much more courage than before. Fritz, this felt good~

"Say it," _ whispered.

"Ich liebe dich, _ (last name)…"

"Now in English~"

I smirked, "I love you, _ (last name), forever un always."

(Le Normal Time)

_ kept me in a tight hold as we lied in bed together. There was only a few more hours until morning and I knew I should go to sleep but I was worried. My awesome girlfriend might start weeping again, I wanted to be awake in order to comfort her. She didn't show any signs of any feelings at all when I looked up. Her eyes just seemed to be staring off into space…Quietly I touched her cheek in hopes that she would tell me what was wrong. After all, the Awesome Me will listen to anything she has to say.

But she remained silent.

"Vhy von't you talk to me?" I whispered.

"It's something we can talk about once you're back to your older self."

Immediately I sat up, "Nein, I vant to know now." Placing my hands on either side of her face, I leaned forward, "You've been acting different lately."

_'s lips remained closed.

"I'm your boyfriend, zhe one who cares zhe most about you. Vhat's zhe matter?"

"…It was our anniversary yesterday."

My cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Every year, we celebrated the day we first became a couple. Mainly it consisted of plenty of sex and beer. Lots of it. I gave a shaky smile, "We still have next year, right?"

"R-right…"

"Un vhen I'm back to my awesome age, I'll grant you anything you vant! Alright?"

"You don't have to-"

"The Awesome Me knows vhat he's doing," gently I kissed her cheek, "always."

But I had a strange feeling that there was something else to it…


	5. Chapter 5

With a sigh, I looked at my brother Alfred and the boy beside him, Arthur. The latter of the two was pouting with red on his cheeks while his arms were crossed over his chest. Alfred was leaning back in his chair with his blue eyes focused on the one who seemed very disappointed to be here. I have been through many scenarios as a teacher, but never one like this. Ever. Some boys at this age were as straight at the Eiffel Tower and yet never had the courage to show it in public. Except for my brother of course. He's apparently the one who is willing to put out posters that said he's gay on every wall he could find.

"So you kissed him on the playground?"

"Without consent!" Arthur butted in.

Alfred grinned, "Yes I did. But then Arthur kissed back!"

"Is that true, Arthur?"

"…Well it would've been rude not too…"

I stood up, "I guess we go to the principal's office."

"NU! SIS, DON'T YOU LOVE ME?"

"Come on, Alfred."

Arthur followed behind me as I dragged Alfred out of my classroom, "Wanker, this is all your damn fault."

"A HERO'S KISS FROM ME IS WORTH IT!"

(Gilbert's POV)

Once the coast was clear, quickly I entered the empty classroom and headed over to my awesome girlfriend's desk—of awesomeness. It was in a corner so the space was nearly a rectangle since it had an opening for her to go behind it. I grabbed her purse that she kept to the far side in hopes I'd find something to eat. Lunch at this school hasn't improved since the last time I was here.

The whole thing was full of garbage so it was difficult to rummage through. There were old receipts, Almond Joy wrappers, and change that never made it into _'s wallet. Although…I was quite pleased to see that she had a few photos of us in one of the pockets. Yet I continued my search with those photos in mind until…

Until I held up a bottle of small green pills.

Fluoxetine.

After school, _ went to change into more comfortable clothing as Ludwig and I sat in the living room. My brother was working at the coffee table to finish his homework but I remained on the couch. Silent. In my hand was the bottle of fluoxetine pills that I was meaning to discuss with my girlfriend once she returned. Homework could wait.

_ entered the living room, "Gilbert, why aren't you doing your homework?"

"Vhy aren't you telling me about zhis?" I tossed my girlfriend her pills, which she caught, and I stared at her confused expression. My throat tightened, "Vhy are you taking pills for depression?"

Ludwig hesitated, but continued adding numbers.

"I-I…"

"It's funny, frau, zhat zhe date zhose vere prescribed vas zhe day we found out about Arthur's spell a few days ago. Are children an issue?"

Tears rose to her eyes, "Yes," she whispered. Then _'s (eye color) eyes met mine, "Something of my past."

(Le Flashback) (Your POV)

My parents anger towards each other grew after I was born. They argued so much that my father left with Alfred and Matthew, leaving me with my mother. She raised me for a few years in the poorest way possible that I was lucky to have lived. But not lucky to be with the worst parent out of the two I had.

Yet one day came when I was abandoned at the age of five. The house was a giant mess of knocked over furniture and torn furniture. I have never felt so alone before. No one was here to comfort me or say that everything was going to be alright. Salty droplets fell down my cheeks as I stood in a hallway facing the open door, barely hanging on it's hinges. Hesitantly I took a step forward before falling to my knees, crying as hard as I could. Alone…

Later on, my father took me in and I was reunited with my brothers. Yet I couldn't help but remember what it felt like to be truly alone. How the house I grew up in only consisted of one person. It haunted me for the rest of my life knowing that other children has suffered the same way I have. I realized that I couldn't handle seeing other children around my age anymore, except for my brothers and friends. Life has changed me and all I could do was live with it.

(Le Normal Time)

"So you became a teacher?"

"I like children, just…" My eyes wandered around the room, "Just not here. Not under my protection."

"Zhen vhy don't we move?"

"Because I can't afford anything else."

Gilbert walked up to me, "You should've said something. Now you're taking depression-pills vhen Ludwig un I could've stayed somewhere else to make you feel better."

"But I want you around!"

"Un I vant you happy!"

I kneeled down to hug him tightly, "Then stay with me! I don't want to be alone!" My crying just made me feel worse, "P-please! I'll stop…I'll stop taking the medication! I need you to help me heal, G-Gilbert…"

"One more zhing."

"W-what?"

"Is zhis vhy you feel sick about having children?"

(Le Flashback)

Gilbert and I stood in a hospital room where we were permitted by a couple to watch childbirth. It was something my boyfriend wanted us to do in order to be prepared for what might come in our future. He was very excited that the day came for this woman to be giving birth to a child. I don't know why, but whatever. My stomach felt sick though to see this woman appear to be suffering a good amount of pain. The lucky husband didn't have to deal with what his wife had to, just stand there and raise her morale. This wasn't exactly what I'd call fun to watch.

Happily my boyfriend squeezed my hand, "Isn't zhis awesome, frau?" He whispered.

"O-of course."

"You look very pale, vould you like something to eat? Or maybe a drink of my milkshake?"

"No thank you," I muttered.

"Vell tell me vhen you do~"

Then everything became worse when it was time for the woman to push the baby out. Oh dear Fritz I needed a barf-bag, earplugs, and brain-bleach. The scene before me was so disgusting that I don't know how Gilbert managed to drink his milkshake with content smothered on his face. Blood, crying, sweet-nothings…It was horrible! Before this started, my boyfriend thought he'd inform me that 99% of women giving childbirth release what belongs in the toilet after the baby was out! As if I wanted to witness that! Overall, I felt bad for the soon-to-be mother! She must be embarrassed to be in such a state in front of people and her own husband! I'm just thankful that I wasn't the one giving birth now! THANK YOU FRITZ!

After we thanked the couple for allowing us to stay in their hospital room, I quickly ran to the bathroom and threw-up. Happy-go-lucky Gilbert waited for me while drinking the rest of his milkshake as if nothing happened in that dreaded room. I knew that agreeing to this wasn't something I would've done if he knew how much it'd hurt me mentally to have a child or more. Yet this was for him.

"_, are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine." I wrapped my arms around him, "Let's go home."

"Did you not vant to see zhe room vhere zhe babies sleep? I thought it'd be something you'd like to do."

"All good! I'm too tired to stay awake much longer."

He hesitated, "Maybe some other time zhen. Alright, let's get you to bed."


	6. Chapter 6

(Gilbert's POV)

The Awesome Me had an awesome mission as one of the FBI. Female Body Investigator. I started my awesome investigation on the last seven days of each month to make sure _ has been living up to healthy standards. She wasn't stupid though, and always avoided me during this time but I am too awesome to fail. My awesome girlfriend hasn't been able to fail one of my tests yet! Kesesesesese! My spy skills are better than Arthur's, I put his James Bond to shame.

Dressed in a black shirt that said Female Body Investigator, camo pants and bandana, and black sunglasses, I was prepared. Quietly I took out a measuring tape and hoped to Fritz that my disguise would hide me as I remained under the bed. My girlfriend always checked around her room when it came to my investigating days, so I had to be careful. Hidden behind boxes that held old photos, I waited.

_ entered the room and lied on her bed for her afternoon nap without taking precautions to if I was there or not. Grinning, all I had to do was give her a good half-an-hour before coming out. So my spare time consisted of playing Angry Birds on her fancy-shmancy touch-screen cellphone. Gilbird watched with interest as I used my awesome skills to beat level after level. This wasn't so bad after all!

Sneaking onto the bed once she was asleep, I wrapped the measuring tape around one of her breasts. But I knew that once I did, _ had awakened. Light sleeper…

"GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT!"

"I LOVE YOU TOO, FRAU!" I yelled as I ran out the room.

Alright, that test could wait another day. Happily, later on, I moved on to picking the lock in one of her drawers in order to write down the sizes of her bras and underwear. The damn bobby pin was being a pain in the ass but I still had a paper clip to use. Once I accomplished unlocking it, I found a very nice white silk bra and wrote down the cup size on my clipboard. Of course I couldn't just examine one…

Then I was in trouble when _ found me lying on the floor unconscious and nosebleeding like Hell.

(Your POV)

Running as fast as I could, I reached the end of the staircase and turned around to run down the hallway. What I didn't expect was for Gilbert to jump over the railing of the stairs and cling to my back like the idiot he was. SON OF A FRITZ! Stumbling for a bit, my hands tried to undo the tight hold my boyfriend's arms had around my neck. His heels pressed into my skin when he felt as if I was going to lose my balance and fall over. I don't know why it is so important for him to know how "squishy" my breasts are. That's why I tried to avoid him for Fritz' sake!

"Frau, zhis is for your own good!"

I gave a sarcastic laugh, "It's for your special edition magazine you're making of me, isn't it?"

"…MEN HAVE NEEDS!"

Ludwig was in the kitchen standing on a stool as he cooked hash browns on the stove. He glanced at me as I was still trying to get my boyfriend off my back while he yelled out that in America, he had rights. Un-amused, he returned to cooking and was thankful that Gilbert didn't live in his house anymore. That I had to deal with him.

I fell back onto the couch with a sigh. Underneath me, Gilbert squirmed to free himself while saying he needed air in a muffled tone. My boyfriend also added in that his awesome sunglasses were too expensive to be broken by me and that I should get up immediately. But when I tested sitting up, his arms were still clinging to me. SO!

I lied back down.

The rest of my Saturday consisted of such scenarios. Fritz was I glad that when night came, I could lie on my bed and sleep in peace. Gilbert's young age left him tired by the time it was 8 o'clock so I decided to go to bed early for him. Normally I slept on my front, so my boyfriend thought it'd be great to sleep on my back. It was…cute. From the mirror hanging on the door, I could see his left cheek smushed against my right shoulder while he sucked on his thumb. His legs dangled on either side of my waist, as if that would keep him from falling off. I smiled to myself before falling asleep too.

(Gilbert's POV)

Peeking one eye open, softly I took my thumb out of my mouth and sat up. And here begins my test to see if _'s dreams can still be affected while she continued to dream. Of course I didn't have sex with her with my previous tests, just touched her gently on spots other than her vital regions. Trickling my fingers up her sides, she smiled. "Zhat's it, frau," I leaned close by her ear, "enjoy your night."

(Le Dream/Flashback)

"Don't go!"

"I've got sophomore exams to study for, Gil!" Angrily _ stormed away from my Camaro and towards the road.

I looked at the beach I had just parked in front of, then at my girlfriend, then my vehicle. Running after _, I picked her up bridal style and ran back towards the Camaro. She was a flushed mess once I rested her on the hood so that I could pin her down. Her eyes were full of innocence for I've never been overly romantic like this before. More like a twisted pervert. Pink spread across my cheeks as we stayed in this position for what seemed like forever.

"I have a list of zhings I vant to do, un one of zhem is having a make-out session on zhe hood of my Camaro."

"That's not very-"

My lips crashed against hers and she gasped out in surprise. I took it as an awesome opportunity to slip my tongue into my girlfriend's mouth and explore the wet warmth of it. _ moaned while slipping her fingers into my white hair, trembling from excitement as I deepened my exploration. She tangoed her tongue with mine before sucking on it, causing my hips to grind against hers. Fritz, my awesome girlfriend knows just how to make me feel awesome…

Hnngh, hah~ What would my life be like without her? The way she shifted in that ridiculously small school outfit was driving me insane. The skinny jeans I was wearing began to feel extremely tight as my awesome five meters throbbed. But when _ started to unzip my pants, the tightness went to a whole new level. I couldn't…OH DEAR FRITZ THANK YOU FOR THIS DAY! Yet I knew that this was too fast, that I should be teasing her breasts, nipping her neck, tasting her nether-regions. Just to make her cry out my name. Proof that she belonged to me.

(Le Awakening)

"YOU DID NOT JUST TOUCH MY BREAST!" _ whacked me with her pillow, nearly knocking me off the bed. Her cheeks were bright red as she continued to smack that bag of fluffiness against me.

Trying to survive, I did all that I could. Which meant hugging my girlfriend as tight as I could, crying about how much I love her. Of course, she tried pulling me away to smack me some more.

Sunday morning. I am lying on the bed wishing the birds would shut up and the sun would go away. _ truly gave me a beating with that pillow last night. The smell of French toast wafted into the room but I wasn't willing to go and eat. In fact, I'd rather stay where I don't have to take another smack-down again until I start day two of my Female Body Investigation for my girlfriend. Tossing those evil fluff-balls called "pillows" off the bed; I smothered my face into the mattress and waited for my headache to go away.

Ludwig climbed onto the bed, "_ is smiling more zhan usual…"

"LKJLKMNKCSJOIDJ!"

"Vhat?"

I lifted my head, "I don't zhink it's a good zhing," I mumbled

"Zhat's vhy I came here! Vhat happened last night?"

"…Oh nein…OH NEIN! NEIN! NEIN! NEIN!" Dashing down the stairs, entering the kitchen, I found my girlfriend cooking… Cooking…EGGS! IN FRONT OF GILBIRD!

"Oh? Good morning, Gilbert!"

"Y-you…"

She took a fork and ate a bit of the scrambled eggs still cooking in the pan. "Are you hungry for breakfast?"

"NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"


	7. Chapter 7

After seeing such a horrible breakfast, eggs, I nearly had a heart-attack as I hid in my closet corner. The way I usually calm down is going through my awesome homemade magazines I made of _ and masturbate at the same time. But I was too scarred from the dreaded sight of frying eggs to do anything but sit in the closet. Alone. With the lights off. My hand trembled as it clung to the front of my shirt as I stared into the darkness in silence. Fritz, may you watch over those poor unborn baby chicks…

_ opened the closet, "It's very hot today! Don't you want to go swimming before going back to school tomorrow?"

Beach=Almost naked awesome girlfriend. Almost naked awesome girlfriend=Sexy. Sexy=AWESOME! "Let's go!" I shouted while jumping up to my feet.

Of course, Ludwig didn't want to go. He'd prefer staying home and reading the newspaper than looking like the sexy beast he can be. So my awesome girlfriend decided to UNDRESS my brother and put swimming trunks on him. Saying that since he was at such a young age, it didn't matter what she saw. Now that just pissed off my awesomeness! _ didn't do that to me! THEN _ put Ludwig over her shoulder and stuffed him in the car, saying that she would buy ice cream later. It wasn't fair one bit!

I was ready to burst a cap until Alfred, Arthur, and Matthew came over to join us. Apparently my girlfriend called Alfred to tell him about our beach trip and asked if they could be a part of it. As if I wanted to be stuffed in a (vehicle name) with those guys! It was ridiculous! I'd rather be in school than here! Which is quite strange actually.

"ONWARD! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Holding Arthur's hand, Alfred ran towards the water as if there was a pile of burgers waiting for him.

Irritable Ludwig sat at under the beach umbrella with my awesome girlfriend and Matthew to make a sandcastle together. His irritation began to leave though since she didn't seem so afraid to interact with him. A sign that the "child issue" is becoming better. I believe it's still a problem since they left me out.

So I was left alone feeling like an idiot with my arm floaties and a rope tied around my waist. I knew I couldn't swim but I didn't want the whole public to know! _ and I had a private beach we normally went to, I don't know why we came here! Gilbird wasn't fond of other people either; at least HE agreed with the fact we should've went to the private beach.

Alfred grinned, "Just one?"

"No! Bugger off!" Arthur splashed water at the American before storming back towards shore.

Until Alfred splashed a load of water back.

Furious, Arthur spun around.

"Ha ha…Oh shit, bro."

Using magic, the Brit formed a giant bubble of water over Alfred's head and let it fall on him. Satisfied, Arthur turned away until he was tackled into the water by his lover. Both equally drenched afterwards…

"_! _! _! ALFRED UN ARTHUR KISSED OUT IN ZHE VATER!"

My girlfriend looked up at me until she was tackled back into the sand by me. "Gilbert! What are you talking about?"

"Kissing…USUK…I support it…" I collapsed on her chest, preventing her from getting up. Oh thank Fritz she's wearing a bikini…

"Alright…As long as it's not intense-"

"I say it is quite a show if Matthew's blushing."

Suddenly I was tossed aside and _ dashed towards the water. "ALFRED F. JONES! IF YOU TOUCH ARTHUR THERE I'LL HAVE YOU GROUNDED FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!"

"BUT I WANT TO KNOW WHAT BIG BEN IS LIKE!"

I knew by the sound of splashing water that she had tackled Alfred.

By the time we came home, without those extra idiots, we had to take showers to get rid of the beach-water and smell. To save some water, _ decided it'd be awesome if Ludwig and I took a shower together. Together. TOGETHER! HOLY FRITZ! I wanted to share a shower with my awesome girlfriend but not him! Ever! It's not like I wish to see his junk or his tiny tits when I could see some very nice…Kesesesese! But that's not what _ wished to happen so I had to be forced into the shower with stone-faced Ludwig in one bathroom.

Naked.

Wow…Just…Not close to awesome…My brother had the tiniest-

"Stop looking at me, bruder!" Ludwig snapped.

"Kesesesesese! Jealous?" I soaped my five meters with a sly grin on my awesome face, which caught my brother's attention. He reddened when he realized that I had planned for him to do such a thing~

"S-shut up! At least I've got something vorthy compared to your stick."

"It's not a stick! Just look un vatch!"

"Nein!"

"You just wish Feliciano gave you pleasure vith five meters just like mine!"

Angrily Ludwig glared at me, "Don't bring Feli into zhis!"

"COME AT ME, BRO!"

(Your POV)

As I was taking a shower, the sounds of arguing between two German brothers could be heard. I let out an annoyed sigh and cleared the shampoo out of my hair. They have been at this for some time now when it came to who had a bigger…Thing than the other if Feliciano Vargas was involved. Not surprising one bit.

But…

Gilbert joined me in the shower, "He can't get me now!"

"GILBERT!"

Ludwig stomped outside of the shower, "Get out here!" He ordered.

"I don't vant to see your ugly face-Oh hello zhere breasts! I haven't seen your awesome titties in a vhile~"

My face reddened in anger and embarrassment to see little Gilbert looking up at me with a smile. I shakily put my hand on his face so that I didn't have to see it, "That's better…"

"_, may I touch zhem?"

"N-no!"

He moved my hand away, his large red eyes full of fake innocence, "Please?"

"You are disgusting!" Ludwig shouted before slamming the door shut behind him.

"Gil, I already said no!"

"Awwwwww…" Gilbert pouted, and then touched his own tits, "So vhat do you zhink?"

"I think you're a sick pervert."

"Actually, I'm quite healthy! I've been to school every single day, un I take good care of my body to do so!"

"By masturbating!"

"…Kesesesese, you know it!"

Later that day…

"SHE'S MY CHEERY PIE! COOL DRINK OF WATER SUCH A SWEET SURPRISE! TASTE SO GOOD MAKE A GROWN MAN CRY! SWEET CHEERY PIE, YEAH!" Gilbert sang.

I cracked open my bedroom door to see my boyfriend dressed only in sweatpants while playing air-guitar on my bed. On the dresser, his boombox was blasting Cherry Pie by Warrant, enough that I could hear it from outside as I worked in my garden to relieve the stress of teaching. He liked to do head-bangs so that his smooth white hair flipped up and down in its' own sexy way. Jumping around on the bed, enjoying himself…It made me happy. A child in my home putting a smile on my face!

"HUH! SWINGIN' IN ZHE LIVIN' ROOM, SWINGIN' IN ZHE KITCHEN! MOST FOLKS DON'T 'CAUSE ZHEY'RE TOO BUSY BITCHIN'! SWINGIN' IN ZHERE 'CAUSE SHE WANTED ME TO FEED HER, SO I MIXED UP ZHE BATTER UN SHE LICKED ZHE BEATER!"

But what I didn't see was Ludwig right behind his brother so that they were back to back doing air-guitars. Then he sang, "I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM, WE ALL SCREAM FOR HER! DON'T EVEN TRY 'CAUSE YOU CAN'T IGNORE HER!"

They took turns singing, and shared during the chorus and the end. I used my cell-phone to film the whole thing so that I may watch it OVER and OVER and OVER again. Especially since Ludwig was singing. Yet it was hard to imagine him singing this song of all songs out in the world. Well I knew very well that Gilbert loved to sing anything that consisted of rock n' roll. Most people asked me how I could stand his singing but I loved it and believed it was the most romantic thing ever since he sang to me on our first date. Kind of kinky but I accepted those sort of things.

Happily I ran into the room after the song ended and tackled Gilbert in a big hug. HE WAS SO ADORABLY AWESOME! "You and Ludwig sang so well!"

"Y-you heard?" Ludwig demanded.

"Frau~ Just you vait till I sing to you in bed-"

"Don't ruin the moment."

Gilbert pouted, "You did last time!"

"As if I'd get naked in front of you!"

"You should, I'm your awesome boyfriend."

"Moment officially ruined!" I began heading towards the door, "If you need me, I'll be in the garden."

Ashamed of himself for being overheard, Ludwig hid his face with his hands. "I'll join you!"

"H-hey! DON'T LEAVE MEEEEEE!"

"I wish I could-"

"Shut up, West! No one asked you!"


	8. Chapter ZHE END

Well hello there, awesome! I smiled in the mirror to see that I was my normal awesome age of awesomeness. Fritz, I'm just too damn awesome for my own good! Flexing my muscles, I imagined _ swooning over me once she came out of the bathroom. Gilbird had already~ Casually I rested one arm on the mirror to use it to lean on while giving my face a very good examination up close. What could be more awesome than my awesomeness? My awesome girlfriend of awesomeness!

Immediately I stood beside the door when she came out. _ squealed when I wrapped my arms from behind her, "Zhere's something awesome in mein pants un I can't reach it, mind doing it for me?"

"I do mind!"

"Frau, I'm at mein perfect age again! Vhy don't you vant to make love to mein awesomeness?"

"Because you didn't say please~" She teased.

"Oh please," I whispered while rocking my hips against her bottom. Her groan really turned me on, "Oh please, please, please! _, PLEASE, make love to me!"

"And if I do?"

"You get a thank you."

_ laughed at that, "Exactly!"

(Some years later)

Sneakily Gilroy peered over the edge of the bed before climbing onto it as softly as possible. He neared his sleeping mother and easily avoided crawling on one of her limbs hidden beneath the giant comforter covering her. With a sigh of relief once he reached his destination, Gilroy gave me the thumbs up.

Here comes awesomeness! Happily I jumped on the bed, "AWESOME MORNING, _!"

_ sat up wide awake until our son tackled her against the bed, "KESESESESESE! GOT YOU!"

I rubbed Gilroy's head of white hair while smiling down at my awesome wife. She was about to complain until I kissed her passionately while our son said how gross that was. Her right fingers trailed on my chest before twisting one of my tits, then our son gave an expression that said "oh dear Fritz you're lucky it wasn't two at once."

"Zhat vasn't nice…"

"It's what you get for waking me up early on a Saturday morning!"

"Come now, it's French Toast Saturday!" Gilroy shook his mother's shoulders, "Un I'm hungryyyyyyyy!"

"Then you should learn how to cook~"

Laughing, I poked her cheek, "You're in no position to say zhat, frau! Just because Arthur taught you how to cook, doesn't mean you can!"

"I eat Mr. Kirkland's scones…"

"And so do I!" _ added.

"Vhat did you do to our innocent son?" Lifting Gilroy and smushing his face against my chest, I gave an expression of grief. OUR POOR BABY EIGHT-YEAR-OLD! Fake tears rose to my eyes, "His German blood is ruined forever!"

"NUUUUUUUUUUU!" Gilroy cried.

"May he be saved by Fritz!"

"Gilbert, you're scaring him!"

It was true, Gilroy was crying because he ate British food. I smiled as I held him up to my eye-level, "Don't worry! Zhere's a cure!" I assured.

He sniffled, "V-vhat's zhat, Vati?"

"Beer."

Agitated but smiling, my awesome wife sat up and lightly punched my shoulder. She was not too keen on Gilroy possibly growing up to be just like me although he resembled my awesomeness from head to toe. A true albino German just like me! _ rubbed Gilroy's back, "It's potatoes, sweetie."

"Nein! Beer solves anything un everything!"

"And what will save you is having your 'tubes tied.'"

If I could pale, it would be truly obvious. Quickly I rested Gilroy on my shoulder and ran out of the bedroom, "NEVAR! ZHIS IS AMERICA! I HAVE THE RIGHT TO KEEP ZHEM OPEN UN FREE!"


End file.
